Lessons Learned

My journey through Europe is slowly starting to come to a close (sad news forever :( ). I sadly said goodbye to my familia on Saturday morning and boarded a bus to take me to the Madrid airport to get on a plane for Rome. It was very hard to say goodbye to Lidia, Felix, and Juan; just the uncertainty of when, and even if, I'd ever see them again was hard to take after being a part of their family for three months. I've been having a wonderful time here in Rome, seeing all the things I've read about in real life (The Colosseum! The Sistine Chapel! The Trevi Fountain!), but I'm going to save those stories for another post and sum up what I've learned this trip - life lessons, not really academic things this time. 

1) People everywhere are friendly and willing to help, just ask!

I've never been a big fan of talking to people I don't know, but when your somewhat lost in the Netherlands, the only way you're going to make it back to Amsterdam is to ask the friendly policeman why the train station is closed/how to get back now. Just as an example. Every person I've met, once you've gotten past the communication barrier (more on that next) was delighted to provide assistance. Which really makes sense, since I know I'm always pleased when someone asks me directions and I can be helpful. A good thing to take note of for any future travels. 

2) I'm very fortunate to have English as my first language. 

London was the only place I traveled that used English as it's native language, but pretty much everyone I talked to, especially in the service and travel industries, but with the exception of French people, spoke English very well as it is the language of travelers. People with different native languages always defaulted to English to communicate with each other. While they sometimes struggled with their second language, I could always easily get out what I wanted to say. It really is a testament to America's influence on the world that our language is the global one. It does however also make us lazy in regards to learning another language, since we can travel and get by fine without one, a principle I don't agree with, which is why I was in Spain this semester. 

3) Spoken word is only a small part of communication. 

There were time when some one addressed me in a language I didn't understand, or I tried to talk to somebody, and totally communicated effectively with just the gestures employed and tone of language. In fact my first month and a half of listening to Felix talk, I only caught about 30% of what he was saying, but the tone he was saying it in and the context allowed me to appropriately respond with a smile and a nod, or a laugh, or a concerned look even though I didn't totally get what was going on. Another time in France, someone asked me to keep an eye on their bag while they went to the bathroom, the only word I caught was suitcase (malette or sometime along those lines) but just from where he was pointing, I understood what he wanted. It really is interesting to note that, and in fact the majority of species on our planet depend almost entirely on body language to communicate! 

4) Your grammar doesn't have to be perfect!

At the start, I would plan out everything in my head in order for it to come out perfectly. This however doesn't work in real life situations where you are conversing. However just speaking usually ends up in incorrect grammar. News flash! This doesn't really matter as long as the point you are making gets across. That is the point of language - if one person understands what you were saying, objective achieved! 

5) You really do get comfortable just in time to leave. 

When I got back from Barcelona, with about three weeks left in my time in Spain, I finally relaxed into my Spanish family. I understood Felix, Lidia and I had good conversations, I understood what was said on the TV, etc. I had been warned that this would happen, but it is very true. Just when you mix into a culture, it's time to go back to your home country. 

6) I am just fine being on my own. 

I got a bit of a practice run this summer when not a lot of my friends were in town and I had to entertain myself a fair bit. This trip really tested that ability as I toured museums myself, ate in restaurants by myself (a little awkward the first time, but you get over it quickly), and just generally had fun. There were times it would have been nice to share a moment with someone, but overall I could appreciate what I was seeing by myself and enjoy it. This is definitely a good life skill to have in the future, as I'm not always going to be surrounded by a horde of people I love and that are down to do things together like I am at home and at school. 

7) I can do anything I want. 

Traveling by myself has been a huge confidence booster. Basically if I can make my way alone through a foreign country with no issues, nothing else will be too hard to do. When you have no one to rely on but yourself, you have to be on top of everything. You have to find your hostel, you have to make your trains/buses/planes on time, you have to know where you are on your map, everything. Getting off the train in Amsterdam alone for the first time was nerve wracking. But I was fine, everything worked out great. On my way to Italy, almost four months later, by myself, I didn't even blink, I know I'm capable of doing it, so I didn't stress about anything. I feel like many things in the United States now are going to be a breeze, there's nothing that's going to be too hard to do. 

And now as promised, pictures of my Spanish family!

Felix, me, and Lidia (my host parents)

Me and Juan my host brother

More Opinions from Lidia on Franco and the Catholic Church

My history class this semester concentrated on the ancient history of Spain, from the Pre-Romanic tribes up through the end of the Hapsburg kings. There were people in my class who were a little disappointed that we didn't study modern history since we would have learned about Franco's dictatorship and life in Spain under his rule. Luckily I have Lidia here at home who was born right at the beginning and has lots of stories and opinions to share about it. Today after lunch, I got an interesting lesson about the involvement of the Catholic church in the dictatorship, and the suppression of women under it.

Lidia is Catholic and goes to mass almost every Sunday, but she still has a lot of criticisms of the church, specifically bout the hypocrisy of the higher officials regarding the money it rakes in while defying Jesus's message to give away all your possessions to the poor. I didn't really know that much about the Franco dictatorship before coming to Spain (or really anything about Spain) but the church was an ardent supporter of his regime and allowed his power to continue until his death, despite the fact that he killed and imprisoned thousands of people. Lidia was saying that she has a friend who is a priest, and that he became a priest since his parents wanted a layer of protections from the regime, and that's exactly what you got when there was a priest in the family. Additionally, Franco extended his power through the priests of the smaller towns. Lidia said that back in the day, the pueblos basically did what the priests told them to do, including spying on each other. A while ago, I saw a really great movie called La Voz Dormida that you should really watch if you get a chance, that also dealt with church's involvement in the running of the prisons that held the political prisoners. It's very well done, but also incredibly sad, I cried for almost the entire movie. It just came out in Spain last month, but I'm sure eventually it will be available in the US.

Other aspects of life were also strictly controlled by the regime, including the treatment of women in society. It sounded a lot to me like how places in the Middle East are today. Apparently, women basically had no rights: they couldn't open a bank account, they couldn't travel without their husband or father, their passport was in the name of their husbands, etc. Also, they had to take the last name of their husband. This was interesting to me, for I don't really agree with the default taking of the husband's last name that is typical to our American culture. In my opinion, it should be just as easy for the husband to take the wife's last name. But as Lidia was saying, everyone has two last names, and the norm in Spain is for every to keep their family names. The children then take the first part of each parent's last names, first the father's then the mother's. Here's an interesting link that explains it better: http://perez.cs.vt.edu/twolastnames. But under the Franco regime, women had to give up their family name, which is an integral part of their identity. This treatment of women partially stemmed from the very patriarchal church system and partially from Franco's opinions. Additionally, the first name of every girl had to be Maria followed by their actual name. That's why you see a lot of women from a certain generation that are Maria Angeles or Maria Jose, etc., of course named after Maria in the Bible.

It's very interesting to see how a society that was so repressed just forty years ago rebounded so quickly and today it totally modern in all aspects. It gives me hope that all the revolutions that occurred in the Middle East this Spring, will have a positive outcome and result in a more open society like Spain did. The circumstances of the changes were different, but there are some similarities so I guess we'll see.

Spanish Familia

As I embark on my last week here in Salamanca, something that I'm actually trying to block from my mind since I don't want to leave, I thought I'd finally write a blog post describing my family here now that I've gotten to know them over the course of a few months. It took a while to feel comfortable around them, since it takes longer to get to know people when there's a language barrier. However they've have always been very welcoming and I wish I could stay longer now that I've finally gotten to know them well.

The youngest member of the family here is Juan my host brother. I'm guessing he's in his mid-40s and is a police officer here in Salamanca. He doesn't live in the apartment with the rest of us, but eats lunch and dinner here everyday, and is generally around a lot of the time. Juan is much more up on pop culture than Lidia and Felix since he's younger, so we can talk about movies, books, singers, etc. that Lidia and Felix might not know. He's also very good at explaining things to me when he can tell from my expression that I'm confused, and also sometimes clarifies things that I am saying to Lidia when either 1) I'm saying something wrong in Spanish or 2) she just doesn't get what I'm saying. He's a nice guy to have around.

The next member of my Spanish family is Felix. He's in his late 70s and is pretty funny. He really likes toros and so sometimes when he puts the tablecloth on the table for our meals, he waves it around like it's a cape. In the past few weeks I've finally been able to understand what he's saying most of the time. He has a very gravely voice and speaks kind of mumbly, so I'm thinking I would have a hard time understanding him in English too. Most of our conversations consist of him pointing out random celebrities on the TV to me and explaining why they are famous in España. Also we confer about the weather a lot, whether it's cold or rainy or what. He's very sweet.

Last but definitely not least is Lidia, my host mom here. I think I'm going to try to back Lidia up in my suitcase and bring her back to the States with me. Lidia likes to show her affection by giving me lots of food. Her newest thing is feeding my tons of clementines while I'm studying and giving me some to take to class in case I need a snack in the middle of my exam. Every time I've gone traveling, she's packed me a huge meal that sometimes lasts me the whole weekend with a bocadillo (sub sandwich), fruit, juice boxes, chips, and in a couple of instances galletas (cookie-biscuit things) in case I get hungry while "walking around." After dinner every night, we have yogurt for desert, and she's noticed that whenever there was a choice, I asked for the lemon yogurt which is my favorite flavor, so now that's always in the house. On Sundays, we always have a special lunch (lunch is the main meal of the day) with calimocho and ice cream, but on Thanksgiving since it was a "fiesta en tu pueblo" I got ice cream for desert too even though it was a Thursday. It turns out Lidia and I have very similar political views, so we've had a couple good conversations raging about Bush/the amount of the budget that goes toward the military and not, por ejemplo, education/the death penalty/the heavy prevalence of guns. They're always fun. Lidia also has interesting stories from the Franco regime that she likes to tell since she was born right at the beginning of the dictatorship, like how they all had to salute Franco in their schools, and how the Americans sent powdered milk since there was a lot of poverty back then. Lidia also has a good sense of humor; one of the tablecloths we use is a map of Spain, and one day when she was wiping it off she said "Look at how quickly I can clean up Spain, much faster than the politicians, look at me cleaning it all up!" I'm going to really miss her.

Pictures of all my family here are to follow once I get around to taking them, but here are some from around Salamanca that I've taken recently. My friends and I have been playing at being tourists here in order to fit in everything we've been meaning to do in Salamanca before we leave.

The Plaza all lit up with different colors at night

The church and cloister at San Esteben 

Rio Tormes with the cathedral in the background

Casa Lis - an art deco museum with the most gorgeous stain glass windows

Rachel and Hayley pretending to be Lazaro and El Ciego 

Ice skating near the Corte Ingles

Justine watching the Barca-Real Madrid game

You Know You're in Spain When...

You know you've been in Spain for a long time (not too long since you can never be in Spain too long) when:

1) You can no longer write in English since trying to spell it out phonetically doesn't work at all.

2) You read a bilingual Spanish/English sign and wonder briefly why the exact same thing is written twice.

3) While getting a coffee in the afternoon at a cafe, you see people eating dinner and wonder why they're eating so early. Then you realize it's 6:30 and they're tourists.

4) When getting ready to go out at night, you pack a wad of toilet paper since there is NEVER EVER any in the stalls at bars.

5) You start to appreciate the jamón on your pizza.

6) You know enough Spanish to argue politics.

7) You know a puente is more than just a bridge, but not quite as nice as an acueducto.

8) While watching the news on TV, you can hear accents from different parts of Spain. Stop dropping your S's Andalucians!

Do I really have to leave soon?